?

Log in

The · Essence · of · My · Existence


Girls' Home

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · Profile

* * *
Yeah, so today I talked with Sr. Pat about going to live in a girls' home for girls who can't live with their family anymore. I admit I'm a little scared. Living with a bunch of strangers? But I'm sick of all the crap I keep going through with my mom and I dunno, I guess it doesn't hurt to look into it. Sr. Pat talked to my mom and I was a little scared about what the outcome would be. The last time something like this happened my mom's friend offered to take my sister and I, but my mom freaked out. She went crazy. I don't want a repeat of that, but I want to be away from her so bad. My mom was told that it was a girls' home for academically advanced girls so of course she got excited. I'm excited, too. But at this point I'm also so confused. In two days will be the movie night I planned at my school which was practically a miracle in itself seeing as how I go to a predominantly-white school and I wanted to show the movie "Crash", which is an incredibly racially controversial film. SO, I'm proud of myself. I just hope now I get a little more confidence because I haven't had the guts to talk to "B" lately and I know it must seem weird to him that my friend who just broke up with her BF is doing it. But I'm the one who likes him, she's just saying "hi" because I'm too much of a wimp to. It's so stupid. I should be proud and walk up to him with confidence because I know that he needs me. But instead I feel so insecure. Well, right now I'm listening to a mixed Gospel CD and it's really helping me to feel relaxed. I love Gospel music. I really do. It's so calming. I also have started eating after 5 p.m. Before then, I won't eat. This is what I ate:

Friday: Breakfast - nothing; Lunch - 1 taco, 3 grapes, 3 pizza slices; Dinner - nothing

Saturday: Breakfast - nothing; Lunch - nothing; Dinner - omelet w/2 pieces of toast, sandwich, 2 slices of toast

Today (Sunday): Breakfast - nothing; Lunch - nothing; Dinner: 2 slices of bacon, 4 pieces of bacon-wrapped shrimp, 8 mini-muffins

Looking at what I ate this weekend, I can't help feeling I'm still eating too much. I REALLy need to go running. Tomorrow, I have to manage the stupid Boys Lax team. I got in trouble because I've been skipping their games to go run, but they don't understand I NEED to run and get rid of the fat I'm getting from eating too much. It's all so annoying. Anyways, I'm LOVING this Gospel CD.
Current Mood:
calm calm
Current Music:
Amazing Mixed Gospel CD
* * *